I didn't eat for three days so I could be lovely.

It's been a while since I last wrote... I usually write in my private diary. Yes, I know, I'm quite anti-social :D
Well, I decided to write a few words today 'cause my friend Tay wants me to. What's new then? I'm sick and... I'm slowly losing weight. I had a bad time and temporary depression but it's kinda gone now. Maybe it's gone just for today... I don't know, we will see.
My scale shows 65 kg. Yes, I totally fucked up my fortnight targets. :/ I was supposed to have reached 64 kg 2 weeks ago so I could walk into the classroom confident and so on... But I weighted 2 kg more... Yhh. This time's going to be better!

Give me one more word...

I cried yesterday. I cried because I miss someone. I cried because I'm so lost and lonely... 

I really miss my friend who left to the UK to live with his ma. I texted him but he never texted me back...

I weighted myself today. The scale shows 66 kg. It means one pound is behind me and it's never gonna come back. God damn it! I'll never weight so much ever again!

Yesterday's dirt and mistakes have moved through me.

''Average. It was the worst, most disgusting word in the English languahe. Nothing meaningful or worthwhile ever came from that word.''
Portia de Rossi, Unbearable Lightness


Yesterday wasn't great but ''Yesterday's dirt and mistakes have moved through me. I am shiny and pink inside, clean. Empty is good. Empty is strong.'' Today's definitely better. I had two slices of crispy bread (20) with mum's avocado creamy sauce (40) and that's it for today. Two days ago I starved myself and I succeeded which makes me glad 'cause it was extremely hard for me to fast. It's been the first starving since February. Many thanks to my friend Tay who really really helped me through this <3

I'm sniffling all day today. I don't know what's happened to my feckin' nose... Allergic reactions, it seems. It's freaking cold outside and I'm just in the house, complaining. 

By the way, I've no idea how to enable comments :( I've messed something up... I'll try to fix it asap. 

Pure butterflies, have a lovely day and remember why yous are doing this for! xxxx

PS. OH YAY, I enabled comments! They're on the top, just under post titles :)

Numbers

Today's the 6th of October 2012. 81 days left 'till I go to Ireland. 81 days are 2 months and 21 days. In two months it is possible to lose 10 kg while eating 300-500 calories per day (like Brenda did). Rationally thinking, during 2 months and 21 days it is possible to lose 12-13 kg without any doubts. If I lose so much weight, my scale would show 54-55 kg in December which is as much as I weighted when I reached the lowest number in my whole life... I have to do EVERYTHING to make it happen.